Translate this!

Google has added Khmer to its Translate service to great rejoicing among all Cambodians and those who wish to communicate with them. This translation guide (which was originally published in the Bayon Pearnik like certain other things) was intended to be lighthearted guide to communication in the kingdom.

I expect Google will do a better job. Phonetics are not my strong suit.

Transportation

English: Take me to the nearest market with barbequed monkeys.

Khmer: Dope kayom dao passau ting svaa ang.

English: Slow down you fool!

Khmer: Bahn toi labuen menua chewkewit!

English: Turn left.

Khmer: Bat chuweng.

English: The other left!

Khmer: Bat chuweng! Bat chuweng!

English: Here is 2,000 riel. Please use it to buy soap.

Khmer: Pee pwayn. Som ting saa boo.

English: I’m looking for an insane mototaxi driver. One who has a battered, nearly useless  motorbike. He should be a little slow in the head and heavy on the throttle. A callous disregard for life and hygiene is preferred.

Khmer: Motodop!

Crime, justice and shopping

English: Please steal from my friend. He has more money than me.

Khmer: Som louich loi pi mit kayom. Que meine loi tran chien kayom.

English: Grenade! Run!

Khmer: Krowpbie! Rutt!

English: How much for that water buffalo?

Khmer: Krabie tlie pon mon? ...

English: I’m sorry, officer. Here is ten dollars. May I continue hitting him?

Khmer: Samto, lok polie. Nee dap dolla. Kayom buntoh wye goat tiet?